Suicide: The Ultimate Pigeon Drop

This is a phrase I heard while in CORE training, which is basically a refresher course we have to take every few years to cover over RBT and Defensive Driving and other administrative junk so the city looks like they're taking an interest in the continuing education of their officers. So don't say I'm not learning anything, because I hadn't thought of suicide in quite that way before.

A quick explanation: A pigeon drop is a common type of scam. Before the internet, though it still happens today, somebody will try to convince the target to part with their money as a confidence to look after a larger amount of money. Then the scammer will give the target an opportunity to flee or escape with what they think is a much larger sum of cash when they're really just running away from their own money, left with the scammer. At work a pigeon drop is when an officer who's either first at the scene or otherwise responsible for the scene instead turns to another (usually lower ranked) officer and tells them to process and do the report instead. It's a bad thing.

Thus, in the realm of death, suicide is taking all of that hurt and crap that you're suffering and giving it to someone else. Your spouse. Siblings. Parents. Children. All the people that depend on you now and in the future get crapped on because of your decision.

EDIT: Just to add, here are some things that you shouldn't kill yourself over.

1.) Your parents took away your cell phone. I really wish that one wasn't based in truth.
2.) Your girlfriend/boyfriend/plantfriend/mineralfriend broke up with you. It sucks, but you're just gonna make it worse. For everyone else. And you're not that much of a dick right?
3.) There is nothing to live for. If that were true you'd have already died. Your body knows this. If you don't believe me try to stop yourself from taking that next breath. That'll last about 15 seconds before your brain chokes you out.
4.) Someone took away your (last) beer. Seriously?
5.) Mayan Apocalypse 2012.
6.) Anything related to the fact that you're under 30. You haven't even made it through half of your expected life span yet. Odds are, the best stuff is ahead of you and you're trying to miss out.

If you're dead set on going through with it though, just do me a favor and stay home. No jumping off an overpass onto some poor schmuck's car while he's stuck in rush hour. That's bullshit. He never did anything to you and now he's gonna be in therapy for a long long time. No jumping three stories into an ice skating rink. Especially if it's full of children at the time. I shouldn't even need to explain this.