Credibility Issues

There are some things I am prepared to believe. The universe is expanding at a given rate flinging the very stars themselves further apart. I can't observe it, but I trust the astrophysicists when they tell me that this is true. I believe them because I trust their ability to outperform my own ability to measure stellar light and all that. I am willing to believe that Jesus, or Gesua of Nazareth, was crucified sometime around 33AD. I can't prove it, but I am willing to accept that this happened as it is well known that ridiculous numbers of people were nailed to bits of wood in various configurations at the time. What I am not prepared to believe is that you, a man with his pants undone and a condom mounted upon his dick and a known prostitute in the passenger seat, were not about to have sex in your car. I have yet to find the fast food chicken place that requires a condom to go through the drive through. Don't bullshit me.

I Ams What I Ams

There are some things I just won't believe, like the status of Wyoming's statehood, or the existence of intelligent life in Oklahoma. So when a girl who's obviously no older than 26 tells me that she's a 40 year old who'd undergone some massive plastic surgery for her face, and ran 80 lbs of fat worth (if there some kind of fat to miles conversion please email it to me) off and somehow has no scars or stretchmarks anywhere I'm gonna be somewhat incredulous. I've been around long enough to know that 99% of everything I hear is a lie and 80% of everything I see is a lie and 100% of everything in Australia wants to kill you or can. Shockingly, giving me ID didn't settle things because the photograph and the person standing there are obviously two different things. Surgery can fix many things, and alter a great many more. What it's not going to change is your ears, if what you had was a chin tuck. I have no idea what a forehead lift is, but I doubt the surgeon is going to dent your teeth in getting in done without letting you know. Further, what kind of quack plastic surgeon would "fix" your face but mess up your teeth and then not tell you about it? That goes beyond malpractice to saturday morning cartoon villain levels. I was unaware the reincarnated ghost of Josef Mengele was a plastic surgeon in "Cali".

On the other side, if you want to give a more believable alternate identity, at least someone who looks like you (like a brother), you should probably check out why they suddenly fled the US before just dropping their name as your own, lest you get caught up in a murder investigation trying to dodge your probation violation. That's not out of the frying pan into the fire. That's frying pan to putting your nuts in a C clamp and slapping piranha with it.