Angry Angry Dogs

Pregnancy can cause a great variety of unusual problems for the mother. In addition to cravings, and swellings, and joint pain and tenderness and all that, apparently her IQ can drop to dangerous levels. It was a dark and frosty night, with temperatures plunging to the low 90s (30s for our non American friends). Our little lady is chilling at home with her dachshund when she makes the mistake of pissing the little guy off and, being a dog, he bites her upon the foot. Immediately the city screams out and fire and police come rushing to the scene. By which I mean everyone looking quizzically at their call sheets and wondered who was playing the joke. This lady called on her own dog? Does that make this family violence? Will supplement reports be required? But no, the young lady was worried that somehow the dog bite would influence the baby. I see, perhaps the dog crawled into your uterus to bite you? Like some kind of horrible fetishistic remake of the end of the Shawshank Redemption? Did you hear the voice of Morgan Freeman anywhere? Lastly, that kicking you feel is the baby trying to slap the stupid out of you, because he knows he's gonna need you for everything and won't make it if you're the intellectual equivalent of cabbage.