There has been a long, proud, historical tradition of reasonable men being forced to actually write down the most painfully obvious shit for the benefit of those who really should have been weeded out by Darwinian selection for the sake of the species. Things like: "Don't attempt to stop chain with your genitals". If you need me to clarify, perhaps what kind of chain (chainsaw, bicycle, Nicolas Cage as The Ghost Rider) then you are the problem we're talking about. I cannot think of any single chain, moving or stationary, that I want to impede using my genitals. Having said that, I'm sure there's a porn website for it.
With that in mind, I really need to stress that jail is not the time, nor the place to be meeting members of the opposite sex. And yet, I find myself increasingly having to separate inmates, not because they're fighting, but because they have come to think of jail as some kind of dating site. Lulu love shack I guess (Bonus points if you can guess where I've been working based on that name). If you go to jail for something minor, it is not a safe assumption that everybody there is in for something minor. That woman you might be chatting up in the intake line might be here for some tickets she didn't pay, or maybe she just gutted her now ex-boyfriend in the bathtub. I really shouldn't have to explain that. It really should be obvious based on the context of where you are; namely, in jail.
So, if this article was informative and you learned not to stop the chain with your genitals, or pick up opposite digits in jail, then please don't ever breed. Ever.
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