How to get away with shooting someone

This is a step by step instructional guide on how to shoot someone and get away with it. Scot free. No consequence. Honest. 

1.) First, obviously, you need to shoot someone. Grab two of your closest friends, pile up into your personal vehicle and drive over to the targets (preferably someone who knows you and your car very well) house (preferably within several hundred yards of your home and surrounded by witnesses) and unload a few rounds. Try to make sure you get as many shell casings as you can to land inside the vehicle, and maybe let a few token ones land outside for the CSI guys to compare. 

2.) As you drive away, be sure to take several pictures with your camera phone of you and your friends holding the guns. Captions reading "Take that sucka" or similar sentiments are encouraged. 

3.) As the sounds of sirens get closer be sure to start texting all of your friends asking how the police could have possibly found out about the shooting, and asking for advice on how to hide the guns. For greater effect, attach full names, birthdays from facebook, and addresses to the contact info on your cell phone. 

4.) Ask your friends on facebook how to evade the police and hide incriminating evidence. Do not use private messaging. This will not work and your friends will think you have no balls. Only use public posts. Preferably searchable through Google. 

Following these simple steps will ensure that you will never be found by police and are free to continue your vendetta against random teenagers. 

Stealth Mode Error

If, someday, you find yourself in the position of being wanted for some felony that you may or may not have committed and you wish to avoid capture by the police your best strategy is to go home, or go to your girlfriend/baby momma/mother's house, and stay there. Going out in public, where the police are, is not conducive to your staying under the radar. However, if you suddenly develop a craving for cheap tacos that, somehow, overrides your desire to avoid capture by police your best strategy is to be inconspicuous. Even in the largest police departments, patrol officers are regularly outnumbered by citizens anywhere from 100s:1 to 1000s:1. You actually have a pretty decent chance to head out, grab food, and make it home all without even seeing police, let alone having an encounter with one. So, if you're getting your cheap tacos in a relatively crowded cheap taco place, and you see a squad car pull up, the last thing you want to do is draw any sort of attention to yourself. You're like the Predator (tm I'm sure) blending in with the surrounding branches and stuff. Immediately flipping out and running away screaming is like water and/or Arnold Schwarzenegger to your Predator cloak. Suddenly you have the attention of the staff, the officer (who probably just wanted a cheap taco and five minutes of peace with which to eat it) and every officer within a few blocks who just heard that first guy say "Some chump just tore out of here when he saw me. He just might be wanted."

So, to recap:

Don't commit felonies.
If you do, and you become wanted, stay home.
If you can't, be inconspicuous or get someone else to get you tacos.
If you are some kind of friendless hermit who's also wanted, act like everyone else in the taco place.
If you can't follow these simple steps, just turn your self in and save everyone else the drama.

Predator is probably copyrighted by the copyright owner. Arnold is just Arnold.